2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
