And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize