Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
