I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
