tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
