My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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