i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Shame - the story of my life.
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