In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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