Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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