cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
