just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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