my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
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The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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