I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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