My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
