i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
