I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Randomize
