Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize