I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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