and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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