We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
