i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
