i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
