So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
