I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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