dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
