He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
