well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize