my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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