So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
