yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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