so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
