She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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