tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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