Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
