Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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