is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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