The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize