I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
