I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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