it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
