Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
