well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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