Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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