You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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