i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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