her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
