I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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