i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
