For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Drake has all the answers
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
