i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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