Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
