someone threw a dead crab at me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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