This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
