Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
