I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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