I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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