You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize