I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
