I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize