Buhtt sex?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
