We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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