Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
