Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize