its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
All I want is dick and wine.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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