Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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