im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
