Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
