I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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