Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
