Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
