I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
babies were throwing up all over the place
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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