Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
