Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
