i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
